Fat Camp

Ayoooo

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 16:49:11 -0500

My friends! Your great friends Curtis and Steve are back ~~and better than ever!~~

Here’s where we left off

Look at us. Young. Handsome. Inspiring. Large penises.

And now…

Disgusting. Repulsive. Washed up. Large penises.

It’s clear that we need Fat Camp. And so do you!

It’s been a long time, but we’ve still got lots of awful jokes up our sleeves that will surely make you consider unfollowing us. We’ll see how long we can keep this up for this time! (a few days)

how did you come up with the name fat camp?

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 16:43:07 -0500

Have you seen our pictures? Come on now.

- Steve

Sorry that we haven’t posted much the past two days. I know you’re all sitting in front...

Thu, 06 May 2010 19:41:02 -0400

Sorry that we haven’t posted much the past two days. I know you’re all sitting in front of your laptops eagerly awaiting more outrageous humor from your good pals Curtis and Steve, but we’ve been busy (flat out lie). We’ll make you laugh at some point I promise.

In the mean time here’s a picture of Steve dressed as a table

The Midnight Snack

Wed, 05 May 2010 19:30:00 -0400

There Will Be Blood is a pretty appropriate title for a period piece

For your entertainment: Here’s a super cool picture of...

Mon, 03 May 2010 23:39:00 -0400

For your entertainment:

Here’s a super cool picture of two of your most handsome friends, Curtis and Steve!

This is the kind of unfunny bullshit that one unnamed Fat Camper...

Mon, 03 May 2010 23:05:20 -0400

This is the kind of unfunny bullshit that one unnamed Fat Camper creates while he’s bored on a Monday night

I happened to stumble upon Sig Tau’s house up for bid on...

Mon, 03 May 2010 18:11:00 -0400

I happened to stumble upon Sig Tau’s house up for bid on Ebay.

I’d plop down 10 bucks for some of that action

Also here’s the link in the description: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSeBPXZGW8s

The Midnight Snack

Mon, 03 May 2010 11:38:24 -0400

Seeing a homeless person on the street really bums me out

Recommend us or else

Mon, 03 May 2010 01:44:16 -0400

Recommend us or else:

If you’re really our friend, which I sincerely doubt, you’ll recommend us. Just click the link, choose humor, and thats it.

Steve said he’d buy whoever does it something from campus pizza

The Midnight Snack

Mon, 03 May 2010 01:20:00 -0400

I hate anal sex.

“Not like that” “Do it this way” “Slow down!”. God my girlfriends so annoying

The Midnight Snack

Sat, 01 May 2010 01:42:00 -0400

Do you think a deaf kid would get in trouble for talking with his hands full?

Curtis and Steve Email America: Lost Watch

Fri, 30 Apr 2010 18:10:40 -0400

Lost watch near the baseball diamond Boynton park in the Tatnuck area of Worcester. $
-Dave

Curtis Page wrote:
David I am VERY interested in your lost watch. I have been a huge fan of the tv show LOST since it started in 2004. I’ve never seen a lost watch before though, could you post a pic? And how much are you selling it for??
-Curtis

Oh, no…u misunderstood. Its not a “lost” watch i lost my watch in the park and am trying to find it lol

Curtis Page wrote:
David, I am very sorry to hear this. You got my hopes up big time man. I’ve always…ALWAYS wanted a LOST watch and got so excited when I saw this. I hope you know that you have crushed my dreams David. Next time you should make sure your ad is clearer so you don’t confuse/hurt other people in the future.
-Curtis

Dude fuck u! Ur the retard who thought it was a ‘lost’ watch not my fault u cant read

Curtis Page wrote:
David can you PLEASE not cuss? That’s all I ask. You intentionally worded your ad that way so that you could confuse people into thinking you were selling a “LOST” watch. I don’t think that was a nice thing to do at all. If you just go online and buy me a real LOST watch then I’ll forget all about this. I’ll meet you at Boynton park tomorrow at noon. Well, you won’t know it’s noon because you’re a butthead and lost your watch, so just use the sun as a guide or something. See ya tomorrow.
-Curtis

FUCK U MAN. Thers no way im buying u a watch and my name ISNT DAVID ITS DAVE. Have fun showing up at the park alone cauz I wont be there dick

Curtis Page wrote:
David, I waited at the park for hours and you never showed up. That’s twice now you’ve hurt me. And just so you know, while waiting at the park yesterday I found your stupid watch in the grass, and because you weren’t agreeable I pawned it and used the cash to buy my very own LOST watch. You brought this on yourself
-Curtis

Curtis and Steve Email America: Dragons

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 21:17:08 -0400

The original ad said: I have a two year old bearded dragon that I no longer have the ability to spend time with or care for. I am giving away not only the lizard but his large wooden stand on wheels and also a 30 gallon tank with an under the tank heater, water fountain and light fixture. I am asking for a small re-homing fee of $50.

Steve Chiavaroli: Everyone knows that dragons are dead. Long gone. And even if they were alive they don’t have facial hair unless their chinese and chinese dragons are even more rarer than american ones. Idiot. I’m telling everyone I know.

******** ******: I HAVE A BEARDED DRAGON THAT I NOT ONLY RAISED MYSELF BUT BREED WHY DONT YOU DO A LITTLE MORE RESEEARCH BEFORE ACTING ALL INSANE AND MESSAGING PEOPLE WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!

Steven Chiavaroli: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon
It’s all right there pal. Dragons are “legendary creatures” told in ancient “myths” and shit like that. How do you expect anyone to believe this shit? Honestly you’re such a moron. Next I’m gonna see posts up on CL from you like “Bearded unicorn for sale!”

******** ******: GOOGLE SEARCH “BEARDED DRAGON” FUCKWAD! I NEVER SAID I WAS SELLING A FUCKING DRAGON!

Steven Chiavaroli: Look chick, you clearly stated your selling a “dragon” I don’t care if it’s bearded or not, a dragon is a dragon. God dammit, for a scammer you aren’t that smart. Like how were you gonna tell people you were gonna transport that shit? Dragon’s are fuckin huge. Maybe YOU should google “DRAGON”

Curtis and Steve Email America: Transportation

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 02:25:37 -0400

Justin ****** wrote:
Hello all,

I am looking for a ride from Amherst to NYC on the morning of 07/26. I’m leaving a wedding, and will catch a bus in NYC to Buffalo to see my folks. I can share gas and tolls, and can drive some if you want. I am a 31 year old married male. People say I’m agreeable. thanks.

Curtis Page wrote:
Hey I think you may be in luck! I’m leaving from Amherst to New York on that same morning. You can totally hitch a ride with me if you’d like. And good news! You don’t have to worry about paying for gas or tolls, because I’m biking there on my two person tandem bicycle. I trust you know how to ride a bike? Only bad thing is you’ll have to bring your own helmet cause I only have one. What time should I come get you?
-Curtis

Justin ****** wrote:
Umm..Not quite what I was looking for. thanks anyway.

Curtis Page wrote:
Is this because you have to bring your own helmet? I can buy you one it’s totally fine. I might even be able to get my younger sister to let you borrow hers. It’s a Miley Cyrus one but who cares right? We should get there pretty fast too, because this is the 19th annual Amherst bike-a-thon, and I intend on winning. It gets pretty boring riding alone though, so I’d love your company.
-Curtis

Justin ****** wrote
Nope I already found a ride thanks

Curtis Page wrote:
I mean, if it’s a question of bathroom breaks then that’s no problem, because most people in the race bring diapers. I may be able to find a spare for you to use. Let me know.
-Curtis

Justin ****** wrote:
Please stop emailing me I’m all set

Curtis Page wrote:
Okay just let me know for sure by the morning of the 26th please, the race starts at 5 am.
-Curtis

Curtis and Steve Email America

Wed, 28 Apr 2010 02:25:24 -0400

Some of you might remember a little thing we did on facebook last year. We sent out emails responding to craigslist ads and posted the responses we got. Basically we copied the idea from some other website but I forget what its called. Anyway, I’m gonna post the old ones we did and we’re gonna start some more. Enjoy. Or not. Screw you.

The Midnight Snack

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 17:31:00 -0400

4/21 : National Snack Famine Day

"It wasn't until I saw the metal tampon box thing that I realized I had just peed in the women's restroom."

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 16:13:00 -0400

One day during my freshman year of college, I went out to eat with my family at Applebee’s. I excused myself from the table about halfway through the meal because I had to urinate wicked bad. I walked to the back of the restaurant and without looking apparently, walked into the first bathroom door I got to. Now, there were two things that I saw immediately that should’ve clued me in.

One, there was a little girl in there staring at me with a confused look on her face. I figured it was just one of those times when a father has nothing else to do with his daughter so he’s forced to bring her with him into the men’s bathroom. Always awkward. I said to myself, “Stop staring at me with that confused face little girl, you’re in my bathroom.” Oops.

The second thing that should’ve absolutely clued me in: there were no urinals. I thought it was odd, but I really had to pee so I just went into one of the stalls. It wasn’t until I saw the metal tampon box thing that I realized I had just peed in the women’s restroom. My heart dropped and my face immediately turned bright red. I tried to get out of there as quickly as possible. The little girl was at the sink now with her mom, who didn’t see me thank god. I wasn’t so lucky, however, for when I walked through the door three girls my age were walking in. After dirty/puzzled looks from them, I quickly returned to my seat.

They should start putting metal tampon box things on the outside of the door for people like me.

-Curtis

Ask or tell us something funny

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 10:04:49 -0400

Ask or tell us something funny:

feel free to be vulgar.

One night, Fat Camper Steven Chiavaroli had a bit too much to...

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 01:28:26 -0400

One night, Fat Camper Steven Chiavaroli had a bit too much to drink. The following conversation was recorded

Meet the Fat Campers: Curtis

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 01:27:55 -0400

Name: Curtis “Booze Dumpster” Page

Age: 19

Body Type: Way too thin. Anorexic even. Only for attention though obviously.

The Rundown: Curtis is a timid little schoolboy bitch with a tiny penis that will never discover the wonders of the female anatomy. He spends most of his day looking for new phallic objects to lube up and shove into his butt. He thinks he keeps this secret from his roommate, but Steve can hear him in the middle of the night when he’s crying and listening to the LOST soundtrack. Which brings us to the next main point of Curtis’ personality, his conscious love for John Locke. Curtis had never shown any homosexual tendencies until he watches his first episode of LOST. Ever since then he’s been sucking dick at gloryholes hoping to hear “DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN’T DO” come from the other side. Curtis will do literally anything to your dick if your bald and have a scar over your eye.

Skillz: Unless you consider being able to recount the name and events in each LOST episode chronologically, then Curtis is basically useless. His LOST perception abilities are so pathetic that on more than one occasion he has walked into our room while I was watching LOST DVD’s and he has told me which episode I’m watching just by listening to the episode. I could not make this up. He also has no license.