My friends! Your great friends Curtis and Steve are back and better than ever!
Here’s where we left off
Look at us. Young. Handsome. Inspiring. Large penises.
And now…
Disgusting. Repulsive. Washed up. Large penises.
It’s clear that we need Fat Camp. And so do you!
It’s been a long time, but we’ve still got lots of awful jokes up our sleeves that will surely make you consider unfollowing us. We’ll see how long we can keep this up for this time! (a few days)
Have you seen our pictures? Come on now.
- Steve
Sorry that we haven’t posted much the past two days. I know you’re all sitting in front of your laptops eagerly awaiting more outrageous humor from your good pals Curtis and Steve, but we’ve been busy (flat out lie). We’ll make you laugh at some point I promise.
In the mean time here’s a picture of Steve dressed as a table
There Will Be Blood is a pretty appropriate title for a period piece
Seeing a homeless person on the street really bums me out
If you’re really our friend, which I sincerely doubt, you’ll recommend us. Just click the link, choose humor, and thats it.
Steve said he’d buy whoever does it something from campus pizza
I hate anal sex.
“Not like that” “Do it this way” “Slow down!”. God my girlfriends so annoying
Do you think a deaf kid would get in trouble for talking with his hands full?
Lost watch near the baseball diamond Boynton park in the Tatnuck area of Worcester. $
-Dave
Curtis Page wrote:
David I am VERY interested in your lost watch. I have been a huge fan of the tv show LOST since it started in 2004. I’ve never seen a lost watch before though, could you post a pic? And how much are you selling it for??
-Curtis
Oh, no…u misunderstood. Its not a “lost” watch i lost my watch in the park and am trying to find it lol
Curtis Page wrote:
David, I am very sorry to hear this. You got my hopes up big time man. I’ve always…ALWAYS wanted a LOST watch and got so excited when I saw this. I hope you know that you have crushed my dreams David. Next time you should make sure your ad is clearer so you don’t confuse/hurt other people in the future.
-Curtis
Dude fuck u! Ur the retard who thought it was a ‘lost’ watch not my fault u cant read
Curtis Page wrote:
David can you PLEASE not cuss? That’s all I ask. You intentionally worded your ad that way so that you could confuse people into thinking you were selling a “LOST” watch. I don’t think that was a nice thing to do at all. If you just go online and buy me a real LOST watch then I’ll forget all about this. I’ll meet you at Boynton park tomorrow at noon. Well, you won’t know it’s noon because you’re a butthead and lost your watch, so just use the sun as a guide or something. See ya tomorrow.
-Curtis
FUCK U MAN. Thers no way im buying u a watch and my name ISNT DAVID ITS DAVE. Have fun showing up at the park alone cauz I wont be there dick
Curtis Page wrote:
David, I waited at the park for hours and you never showed up. That’s twice now you’ve hurt me. And just so you know, while waiting at the park yesterday I found your stupid watch in the grass, and because you weren’t agreeable I pawned it and used the cash to buy my very own LOST watch. You brought this on yourself
-Curtis
The original ad said: I have a two year old bearded dragon that I no longer have the ability to spend time with or care for. I am giving away not only the lizard but his large wooden stand on wheels and also a 30 gallon tank with an under the tank heater, water fountain and light fixture. I am asking for a small re-homing fee of $50.
Steve Chiavaroli: Everyone knows that dragons are dead. Long gone. And even if they were alive they don’t have facial hair unless their chinese and chinese dragons are even more rarer than american ones. Idiot. I’m telling everyone I know.
******** ******: I HAVE A BEARDED DRAGON THAT I NOT ONLY RAISED MYSELF BUT BREED WHY DONT YOU DO A LITTLE MORE RESEEARCH BEFORE ACTING ALL INSANE AND MESSAGING PEOPLE WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!
Steven Chiavaroli: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dragon
It’s all right there pal. Dragons are “legendary creatures” told in ancient “myths” and shit like that. How do you expect anyone to believe this shit? Honestly you’re such a moron. Next I’m gonna see posts up on CL from you like “Bearded unicorn for sale!”
******** ******: GOOGLE SEARCH “BEARDED DRAGON” FUCKWAD! I NEVER SAID I WAS SELLING A FUCKING DRAGON!
Steven Chiavaroli: Look chick, you clearly stated your selling a “dragon” I don’t care if it’s bearded or not, a dragon is a dragon. God dammit, for a scammer you aren’t that smart. Like how were you gonna tell people you were gonna transport that shit? Dragon’s are fuckin huge. Maybe YOU should google “DRAGON”
Justin ****** wrote:
Hello all,
I am looking for a ride from Amherst to NYC on the morning of 07/26. I’m leaving a wedding, and will catch a bus in NYC to Buffalo to see my folks. I can share gas and tolls, and can drive some if you want. I am a 31 year old married male. People say I’m agreeable. thanks.
Curtis Page wrote:
Hey I think you may be in luck! I’m leaving from Amherst to New York on that same morning. You can totally hitch a ride with me if you’d like. And good news! You don’t have to worry about paying for gas or tolls, because I’m biking there on my two person tandem bicycle. I trust you know how to ride a bike? Only bad thing is you’ll have to bring your own helmet cause I only have one. What time should I come get you?
-Curtis
Justin ****** wrote:
Umm..Not quite what I was looking for. thanks anyway.
Curtis Page wrote:
Is this because you have to bring your own helmet? I can buy you one it’s totally fine. I might even be able to get my younger sister to let you borrow hers. It’s a Miley Cyrus one but who cares right? We should get there pretty fast too, because this is the 19th annual Amherst bike-a-thon, and I intend on winning. It gets pretty boring riding alone though, so I’d love your company.
-Curtis
Justin ****** wrote
Nope I already found a ride thanks
Curtis Page wrote:
I mean, if it’s a question of bathroom breaks then that’s no problem, because most people in the race bring diapers. I may be able to find a spare for you to use. Let me know.
-Curtis
Justin ****** wrote:
Please stop emailing me I’m all set
Curtis Page wrote:
Okay just let me know for sure by the morning of the 26th please, the race starts at 5 am.
-Curtis
Some of you might remember a little thing we did on facebook last year. We sent out emails responding to craigslist ads and posted the responses we got. Basically we copied the idea from some other website but I forget what its called. Anyway, I’m gonna post the old ones we did and we’re gonna start some more. Enjoy. Or not. Screw you.
4/21 : National Snack Famine Day
One day during my freshman year of college, I went out to eat with my family at Applebee’s. I excused myself from the table about halfway through the meal because I had to urinate wicked bad. I walked to the back of the restaurant and without looking apparently, walked into the first bathroom door I got to. Now, there were two things that I saw immediately that should’ve clued me in.
One, there was a little girl in there staring at me with a confused look on her face. I figured it was just one of those times when a father has nothing else to do with his daughter so he’s forced to bring her with him into the men’s bathroom. Always awkward. I said to myself, “Stop staring at me with that confused face little girl, you’re in my bathroom.” Oops.
The second thing that should’ve absolutely clued me in: there were no urinals. I thought it was odd, but I really had to pee so I just went into one of the stalls. It wasn’t until I saw the metal tampon box thing that I realized I had just peed in the women’s restroom. My heart dropped and my face immediately turned bright red. I tried to get out of there as quickly as possible. The little girl was at the sink now with her mom, who didn’t see me thank god. I wasn’t so lucky, however, for when I walked through the door three girls my age were walking in. After dirty/puzzled looks from them, I quickly returned to my seat.
They should start putting metal tampon box things on the outside of the door for people like me.
-Curtis
feel free to be vulgar.
One night, Fat Camper Steven Chiavaroli had a bit too much to drink. The following conversation was recorded
Name: Curtis “Booze Dumpster” Page
Age: 19
Body Type: Way too thin. Anorexic even. Only for attention though obviously.
The Rundown: Curtis is a timid little schoolboy bitch with a tiny penis that will never discover the wonders of the female anatomy. He spends most of his day looking for new phallic objects to lube up and shove into his butt. He thinks he keeps this secret from his roommate, but Steve can hear him in the middle of the night when he’s crying and listening to the LOST soundtrack. Which brings us to the next main point of Curtis’ personality, his conscious love for John Locke. Curtis had never shown any homosexual tendencies until he watches his first episode of LOST. Ever since then he’s been sucking dick at gloryholes hoping to hear “DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN’T DO” come from the other side. Curtis will do literally anything to your dick if your bald and have a scar over your eye.
Skillz: Unless you consider being able to recount the name and events in each LOST episode chronologically, then Curtis is basically useless. His LOST perception abilities are so pathetic that on more than one occasion he has walked into our room while I was watching LOST DVD’s and he has told me which episode I’m watching just by listening to the episode. I could not make this up. He also has no license.
Name: Steven “Pussy Farmer” Chiavaroli
Age: 20
Body Type: Very fat. Maybe the fattest ever.
The Rundown: He is a selfish, homeless, alcoholic, arrogant, unfunny piece of shit with homosexual tendencies. He never bathes, constantly whines, doesn’t go to class, wears the same clothes every day, takes the grossest shits in our bathroom, never picks up after himself, pukes and shits and jizzes all over my stuff, and has a different man in the room every night. If you ever cross paths with him, turn and run the other way immediately, for he is the worst, most inconsiderate person you’ll ever meet in your life. Steve and I have both agreed that there honestly isn’t a single person in the world less likable than him. Thinks he’s funny, oblivious to the fact that no one has ever laughed at anything he’s ever said or done. His breath couldn’t smell worse if he tried.
Skills: Virtually none. Unless you count accomplishing absolutely nothing, alienating friends, and just being a straight up douche most of the time. Good at looking up porn instead of going to classes.
Fat Camp is a collection of random crap from the minds of Steve Chiavaroli and Curtis Page. If you’re bored and stupid enough to follow us you’ll find that we have absolutely nothing to add to your life whatsoever. Be prepared for lame comics, boring stories, quotes, unfunny jokes, videos, and skits, all of which only the two of us will find even a little bit funny. If you’re unfortunate to be one of our few friends, we’ll most definitely be poking fun of you on the daily with this blog.
Basically we created this in order to get girls to have sex with us. It 100% won’t work ever.
